Today, I had an entirely different blogpost scheduled to publish. The problem is: life happened and I couldn’t get it done before the weekend. I could have finished it today and then published but the thing is, I had a birthday party to attend to. Not of anyone but of an 86-year-old granny who has been helping me so much since I came to Germany and every day more.
I was so torn and feeling rather shitty too because my blog isn’t only my passion anymore. My blog is the beginning of my career as a Writer and I take this so seriously — and not at the same time since I do it because it’s fun. Paradoxes, paradoxes…
I realised one thing: I could stay at home, finish my article, lose the birthday party and feel a little hypocrite for writing about what’s really important while not being there for someone I care about — in other words, talk my talk.
Or I could go and celebrate the important people in my life, publish the post another day and be okay about it — in other words, walk my talk.
I’ve been writing so many times about how it’s important that you do what you wanna do and don’t pay attention to what others might think. And normally, I do refuse to a lot of things so I can grow my career.
But today, I didn’t feel like that. I was torn.
So I decided to go to the birthday party and it was THE BEST one since I arrived here in Germany! I’m so glad I gave the priority intuition check to the right one. It inspired me so much that now I’m home sitting here, writing this and hoping I can finish before midnight. 😂
The Müllers have a little one in the family now, she’s 2 years old and before today we haven’t had much of a connection or communication to each other. She’s quite fascinated when she sees me riding the Enterprise but she doesn’t really know what to do. She’s very friendly and extrovert with everyone so she gives her little hand to you for a greeting handshake (that’s the German way of greeting) and smiles. But with me, she’s faced with a different situation, I can’t reach my hand to her and well, I have a whole machine around me.
That didn’t stop her today, though.
I was sitting there and she came, when I looked at her she started laughing and ran to her dad’s legs. And she kept doing that countless times (truly I lost count, were so many!). Until I told Falk, my husband, to give my hand to her as a greeting. Because the last thing I wanted was leaving her wondering if she did something wrong or if I didn’t like her since I didn’t give her my hand while everyone else has.
She was about to run back to her dad’s legs when she noticed Falk holding my hand towards her. She came closer and touched her tiny little hand over mine, moved her hand around a little and got interested in my pointy wrist bone (hahahaha!) laughed and ran back to her dad.
The same situation went on for countless times again. Until granny said: “That’s Carolina!”, and she doesn’t speak many words yet but she said: “Lina!”. Everyone was delighted because she learned how to speak a new word but for me was so much more than that.
Until we had our little hand connection, I was on the birthday party but my head wasn’t completely there. I was beating myself out for not following my article’s schedule. I was feeling unprofessional and not good enough. And by doing that, I wasn’t truly walking my talk because one of the things I teach is about living in the moment — and I wasn’t.
Then she said “Lina” and told me her name back ❤
In that moment, I was reminded to be Lina and live by the teachings I learn and teach.
In that moment, I was present.
In that moment, I realised that there’s a reason why “present” is another word for “gift”.
In that moment, I was reminded that I couldn’t get my post published while I was on the birthday party so why bother?! I was making myself miserable in vain!
In that moment, I was Lina and I was giving my attention to my present and not thinking about my past or immediate future.
Before she was leaving with her parents, she was giving her cute handshake goodbye to everyone and when it was my turn she grabbed my hand herself and waved my hand (and arm!) goodbye and laughed. Twice. ❤
Everyone was tense for a moment, like “OMG, she’s gonna hurt the girl in the rolling chair” but when they saw me laughing back, everyone laughed together.
With this story I wanna tell you 3 things:
1. Constantly check your priorities and make an Intuition-check on the one your mind picked.
2. Live in the moment. There’s a reason why “present” is another word for “gift”.
3. Don’t stop yourself from making a connection because of your disability. When kindred spirits wanna connect, there’s no force that can stop them.
Who knew? In the end, I’ve made beautiful memories, brought home some fresh peppermint AND published a blogpost. Not the one I had planned but an even better one.
As a spiritual teacher, it’s my responsibility to be real with you about the lessons I’m constantly learning. And it’s also good to write it all down to remind myself that I’m a lifelong student and that being a spiritual person isn’t always being the perfect student. It’s about being human and do my best every day to choose Love over fear.
The little 2-year-old girl reminded me of that today and my intention is that this post will do the same for you.
With all my love,